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South Korea's Christmas Is Getting Scrooged Hard

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100 brains go missing from a University in Texas. And no one noticed. No one noticed. I'm calling out zombie cat burglars. Oh, and the south is short on grey matter. Wait? Is this news?
North Korea is poised to bomb South Korea's Christmas tree. This is the Scroogiest news we've heard in awhile. Where's the Ghost of Christmas Future to help us out? Probably shacked up with Mrs. Clause while Santa finishes his robot army.
The AK-47 is being rebranded as a weapon of peace. It also makes a great throw pillow. Only one of these is a joke.
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