The Pun Police Are Coming: The Chinese Government Is Outlawing Puns!! Yes, Really.

By now you may or may not know that Daily Dispatch is now known as News House. Know it! If you didn't, not to worry because it's still hosted by Marc and he still has a beard and wears blazers and makes the very finest jokes for all of your head holes to enjoy. That is all.
Today on News House:
Bird Bombs in Afghanistan! (note: not a headline describing a woodpecker comic that tanked at the Kabul Chuckle Hut but an actual exploding bird). Yup, they were a thing during WWII and they're back. With a KaaawwwwBOOM. Sorry about the KaaawwwwBOOM gag.

A little old lady who can lift more than double her weight! And can likely kick the tar out of you or at least lift you over her head and snap you in half like Bane. You better take your hat off in the house. Oh and she's keeping the football that landed on her lawn.
Chinese communications officials ban wordplay in China! Seriously. In an effort to curtail puns. For real. It begs the question "what is the Chinese version of the "I was born on a pirate ship" fingers in the mouth gag? And what will it be replaced with? And what will they ban next? Is Hello Kitty even safe right now? I can't even.
Now watch this "news".
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